calgaris_rex

Continuings...

2007-03-13T14:45:14Z

Things are...things. School is going reasonably well, even with the whole transfer thing going on (which I really must get done).

Val and I are wonderful.
Completely in love.
God I hate living three hundred miles away for weeks at a time!!!
I'll be home in seventeen days.
I hate waiting.
But if I can see him, I'll wait for as long as I have to.

Bunny!!!

I love you!!!

A Test

2006-11-02T22:21:34Z

Lately I've been seriously considering going into architecture, or some similar art-based field instead of engineering.

Virginia Tech has one of the best architecture programs in the country, but that would mean staying here for the entire summer and then finding out whether I got in or not. Not a pretty option.

I've also looked at other schools, some of which look promising, but also expensive...

So I began reconsidering VT's program, until I realized what that would mean...

I choose YOU. There was never a question in my mind. Not EVER. I have plenty of time to go back to school, establish a new career, but I would never leave my relationship with you up to chance.

I love you so much.

Methods of Learning...

2006-10-09T20:56:32Z

I've decided that I don't like it when teacher use layman's terms or analogies to describe something technical that I already understand, but I do like it when I don't understand the topic.

If you already understand it, it's confusing when you hear the "simple" version, which isn't necessarily technically correct.

Oh well.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

2006-10-06T13:49:09Z

Getting with the program! All classes cancelled today for Fall Break, and I've got a few things to take care of...

My last week of being eighteen, and only one more week until I go home to see Val.

Make it work!

Gay Authors...

2006-10-05T17:44:46Z

BWAHAHAHA, David Sedaris wrote a note to me, Dane Miller, last night. Which is just amazing. And Val is amazing for going and getting it for me instead of getting himself one. Haha I was so on crack about that last night. Good times, with better times ahead.

In other news, I just went across the street to Schiffert and made an appointment for 17 October. I feel fine now, but, well, you know. I just don't want to have to deal with that, so I'm gonna pre-empt it.

MAKE IT WORK!!!!

God, what a mess

2006-10-04T16:30:59Z

Up or down? I'm not sure yet. We're slowly, slowly coming up to speed. In the meantime, you'll slip if you step in shit.

It's Always Something...

2006-09-21T17:08:53Z

Al Pacino was right. I can't deal with all of this shit. It's so exhausting. And it inconveniences other people too.

Fuck.

What Magic...

2006-09-17T22:55:46Z

I feel better. Much better. All I needed was to see Val. Of course, I wish he was still here, but it was wonderful just the same having him here. It was almost too good to be true.

Ah, the good life.

calgaris_rex @ 2006-09-13T20:08:00

2006-09-14T00:10:23Z

Earlier today, I was convinced, utterly, that I am far too stupid to actually survive in college and get a degree from any respectable university.

Then I realized that I'm just way too disorganized to manage my time, too forgetful to keep up with things, and too proud to ask for help.

At least I'm not stupid. But Jesus Christ, sometimes I just feel like slitting my wrists out of sheer anger and frustration.

Love You Madly

2006-09-09T19:12:14Z

Only six days! And this music is on top. For sure...

Books

2006-09-07T14:06:00Z

Contact-Carl Sagan
............................
Me Talk Pretty One Day-David Sedaris
Holidays On Ice-David Sedaris
Naked-David Sedaris
Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim-David Sedaris
Barrel Fever-David Sedaris
The Metamorphosis-Franz Kafka
............................
And I've started A Clockwork Orange-Anthony Burgess

I haven't read this much in years! This is in the space of less than three months. Ha.

Crappy and Sad? Caffeine All Around!

2006-09-05T13:18:38Z

I woke up, feeling not so hot. You know, that same old chest pain, but this time it had worked its way down to my stomach too. It got worse at breakfast, but I'm not sure there's an ailment around that can't be cured by good music, reading David Sedaris, and four cups of black coffee. So I'm feeling fairly peachy right now.

I just have a lot to do today: go to Schiffert to get a new doctor, fill out my loan paperwork, get a haircut, go to the emporium, do engineering, calculus, and chemistry homework, AND go to work. I think I'm going to be a tad busy today. I think I'm gonna get on that right NOW.

For Sentimental Reasons...

2006-08-29T03:35:11Z

As time goes by, instead of my resolve shaking or faltering, I feel only more reassured by the thought of returning home to you. You are the source of music in my life: Rufus Wainwright and Nat King Cole, and another kind, a kind I can't really hear, but can feel dancing around the back of my heart.

Sleep well my prince; make me proud like you always do.

This Doesn't Feel As Fun Anymore...

2006-08-24T16:24:41Z

I'm lonely. I miss people from home, and I miss Val, but at this point I would really settle for ANYBODY to talk to during the course of the day. I feel like I alienate my roommate, so we don't talk at all, and I only know a couple of people here, but I don't feel like being a pain in the ass and hanging on them all the time.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Ha. I should really do something about this or stop bitching about it. Yeah. Right.

WTF

2006-08-21T15:49:05Z

Well, I had a fun first thirty minutes of my French class; the instructor is from Senegal, a Monsieur Médoune Guèye, and seems very friendly. Gahh, I need money for books...

But anyway, classes for the rest of the day have been cancelled because there's a homicidal maniac on the loose. No joke. And I was actually really looking forward to class. I guess I'll just have to draw something...

First Day of Classes......EEEEK!

2006-08-21T12:26:46Z

So today I have to start going to classes...slightly scary, but it shouldn't be too bad. And I got into my French class, plus I think I'll stay in that creative writing workshop, just because it'll give me an excuse to read and write non-technical...stuff.

Wish me luck!

All That You Can't Leave Behind...

2006-08-13T13:16:46Z

I'm getting to the point where I realize just how much the people around me mean to me; you don't really realize what you have until you're about to lose it or be separated from it, and now I realize how much all of these people mean to me: my parents, Diane, Nancy, Megan, and most of all, Val. I feel almost lost as I write this, but somehow I know I'll find the strength to just soldier on for a few weeks. Hopefully school will keep me busy enough that I can mostly ignore my loneliness, but I know that won't be the case.

I will think of you every minute of every day. You are my reason to get up in the morning, my sun and my moon, what makes my little world go round, and I want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you so much, and never want to lose you, and I'm sorrier than you'll ever know for having to go away and leave you and hurt you. I love you.

everything at once

2006-08-11T15:35:09Z

It does seem that everything does happen at once: meeting Val, leaving for school, borrowing money, packing, dealing with driving stuff, and anything I've neglected to mention. But with help, encouragement, and love, I feel like I'm flourishing even though my life is in overdrive right now.

More specifically, I got my license on Wednesday (I was so terribly nervous), so I drove to Val's last night and played a cruel trick on him ;-P. I drove everywhere yesterday, and was exhausted and sleepy on the drive home.

I've been doing a lot of artwork lately. It's all up on my DeviantArt account, and I think I'm getting better.

This music is awesome.

You Can Lean On Me

2006-08-04T16:17:36Z

Always remember: raunchy Stones songs, how "old" we are all getting, and fish with big teeth.

Something smells good :-)

;-O

2006-08-04T03:41:09Z

Whose underwear are these? They aren't mine...hehe

There IS a God

2006-08-01T12:05:08Z

Last night, after having gotten into it with Mom over the issue of coming back to Maryland to complete my driving training, I was EXTREMELY pissed, mostly at myself.

But lo and behold, the phone rang, and they were wonderful and rescheduled ALL of my appointments so that instead of completing everything on September fourteenth, I'll complete everything by next Tuesday! Hallelujah! Hehe.

Bad News with the F@$king Car

2006-07-31T14:14:23Z

So apparently I won't have my license by the time I leave for school. For like the first two months I'll have to come all the way BACK to Maryland and take a stupid two hour class and then go all the way back to Blacksburg. Some power in the universe must hate me. Grrrr. Well, not really; this is all my fault, seeing as how I could've finished this literally YEARS ago, and I've just let it slide until now. This just feels so unfair, and I know it's unfair to Val. I feel really sick right now, not to mention worried.

Tantrums

2006-07-30T01:54:39Z

Hmm. I guess I need to check my temper sometimes; my mother is a really amazing woman, but everyone has limits, and I guess I forgot that last night. I was ignoring the rules laid down in my home, and I should've expected something to happen, but I thought I could slide by. I couldn't. Enough said. I feel much better.

You're So Vain

2006-07-24T12:02:33Z

Hmmm. Tried to write the other day, to little effect (as usual). Tried to draw the other day, and apparently it went over well, so that's good :-). I've always been better at that anyway I guess. Reading David Sedaris and ripping through the stuff.

Oh, and I'm leaving today for orientation at Virginia Tech, which means I'll either get home late Wednesday or Thursday. Grrr. But I had a great week, saw Val a lot (I think technically every day from Monday to Saturday), and managed not to go crazy like usual. I'm still going to miss him all week though. I found a great way to do it though, but it's kind of silly. Oh well...

The synchronized swimming/water ballet was cute, but by no means great. Maybe the fact that I had a migraine didn't help. The Ethel Merman reference was good though. Hehe.

So apparently way more people comment on LiveJournal than they do on Xanga; I guess LiveJournal hasn't suffered the decline due to MySpace as much as Xanga has. Whatever.

-Dane

Road Trip

2006-07-17T01:17:05Z

Hmmm. Got home a few hours ago from our long drive today, starting at around seven from Baltimore all the way to the far-off land of Rossiter, PA. Why the hell does it take four hours to drive 150 miles? I have no idea. But it does.

It was nice though: I got to see camp, which I haven't in a year, and may not see for a while now that I'm too old for it. I was thinking today, after we dropped my cousin off how much I envy her, but I also realized how I've outgrown it, in that even if I could've stayed, I wouldn't have wanted to, because I only have a few more weeks at home, and I plan to spend as much of my remaining time here as I can with a certain special someone.

The house is vacuumed. The bathroom is cleaned. The dog is walked. I haven't had my medication since last Tuesday and I'm getting a headache and fat. I need to go work out. I'm quite certain I'll feel much better by tomorrow afternoon. :-D

-D-